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i will miss your hugs
and the warmth they send across
i will miss your laughter
and the joy it makes me feel
i will miss our conversations
and every single thing i learned from them..
i guess we've reached the crossroads
and somehow we have to part ways
we're far too different from each other
but the few things we have in common
have produced a very special friendship
a bond so stong and special
a bond that will always be there
no matter what comes along
no matter how far we are from each other
no matter how very li'l time we spend together
no matter the mountain of differences between us
i will distant myself for maybe some time
but should you need me baby i'm just here
and even if i had a million other things to do
i'll make myself available to be beside you
i will never be too far away...
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a pen was put to work again at 12:03 am by justjacq
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yesterday was wonderful!! we went back to the orphanage... there were 5 of us at first but some of Kat's friends met up with us at Museong Pambata.. it was soo totally fun!! We got there at around 11 am and fed the kids lunch. they looked so cute while eating. some of them are still so young but they've been trained already to eat on their own. there was a kid who used his fork on the rice and the spoon on the chicken.. lolz.. so adorable. another kid spilled her tea but she immediately stood up to fix the mess. they're so like that.. they don't expect others to do anything for them. two kids took forever to finish their food and when jm sat beside the other one, he cried :) probably didn't like feeling he was being pressured to finish his food fast. he was so young though, probably around only 2 or 2 n a half... then there was this kid who kept on saying "yes" when asked "u want some more?" we thought he really wanted more.. but when we said "enough na?" he said "yes" again... and we go like "oh, ok, he says yes to any question.. he never says no.." hahaha.. poor kid.. and to think we kept asking if he wanted more and so we kept adding more on his plate ... lolz.. he probably felt like throwing up... :)
a couple of kids recognized me and kat :).. when they saw us they were like "wow, you came back" :)
jenny, one of the older kids said Racher just left for a formal schooling at Bahay ni Maria. It suddenly struck me then that they have no formal education there. One of the nuns said they usually process the papers and send the older kids to other places for proper schooling. As for the younger ones, they just eat, sleep, play, take a nap and sometimes take lessons from social workers who visit them. after lunch, i lingered in the other room, the one for less than a year old babies. The youngest there is only 3 months old and i held her in my arms :) it felt so good to hold a baby again.. she was real nice and it didn't matter to her that i was a total stranger :) the other babies just gave me wary looks as i held their youngest :p when kat and mj joined me in the room they also cuddled the other babies and we took pics :) when Kat tried to put down the baby she really threw a fit.. lolz.. she was longing for cuddles.. *sighs* poor babies.. being hugged and cuddled is a very important aspect of growth... i read somewhere that kids who were never hugged as babies usually grow up to be troubled adults... *sighs* the baby i was holding fell asleep in my arms.. yay.. i was able to put her to sleep with my warm hugs and gentle voice.. hahaha... :P she fell asleep right when we were about to leave for the museum.. very good timing... she didn't stir a bit when i put her back down in her crib :) she looked oh so peaceful and i wanted so much to just put her inside my big paper bag and take her home.. lolz...
we went to the museum with 8 kids. the kid i buddied up with was Aliyah. she was really shy at first.. she wouldn't even tell me her age.. it was the other kids who volunteered the info. they said she's 10, very shy and rarely speaks. True enough, she rarely spoke to me all throughout our stay there... she liked holding my hand though.. lolz... there was an area there for the human anatomy... she pressed a button and a fart sound came out really loud.. we laughed our heads off then.. :) and she pressed the button again and again.. :p then we moved on to the next stop.. it was like a mini market.. i told her to be the vendor and sell me some fishes.. she smiled as smugly as any 10 year old can manage as she promptly filled my basket with fishes.. :) we also entered the mini barbershop and i said she'd be the customer. i asked what kinda hairstyle she wanted and with a grin and a mischievous look, she whispered "kalbo" (skinhead)...lolz. i go like "oh no you don't, that'll be a waste of beauty." and she beamed a smile on me :) she also liked the nipa hut a lot... she stayed there for quite some time with the other kids and they kept on saying "this is our house, this is our house" :) we sat in one corner as the kids played inside the nipa hut... and because i was starting to feel exhausted by then, i didn't notice that Aliyah was not with the other kids anymore... when Kat said we should be heading off to the playground outside i looked for Aliyah but she was nowhere in that section. i let the others go ahead with their kids and i went back to the other section.. i found her coming out of the maze cave after a couple of minutes... it was only a couple of minutes but it felt like a couple of hours, i swear.. she got me so worried.. she also looked a li'l worried but she smiled soon as she saw me anyway.. :)
Kat bought the girls barbie dolls.. i bought Aliyah balls and colored pencils and Ida bought some pencils :) we stayed in the playground for a while then headed back to the car and boy, were the kids thirsty! they looked real happy though.. :)
i love those kids... they embody the real meaning of innocence... i super wanna go back there every saturday but that won't be possible as i have too many others things to do.. i especially loved the babies.. they were even teasing me to have one of my own na dw.. lolz.. i do love kids but NOT yet to the extent of wanting to have one of my own... for now i'm contented with seeing and taking care of babies of others..
a pen was put to work again at 04:27 am by justjacq
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your hostility is breaking me into fragments
your blank stares cut right through me
this torment is suffocating
and i feel lost in turmoil
the wall just keeps growing
as the pain accumulate
and something in me died
the day we both clammed up
i go obout my day feeling deserted
i walk without direction
i'm more like a walking dead
and a breathing skeleton...
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a pen was put to work again at 04:48 am by justjacq
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let me grieve for eternity
let me weep till i ran out of breath
let this agony veil my heart
let this sorrow mask my face
my dreams have vanished
my hopes have died
all that's left is emptiness
and torment that's so real
let me watch from afar
the world move on without me
let me sulk in darkness
with my own arms wrapped around me...
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a pen was put to work again at 06:02 am by justjacq
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here it goes maroux.. and don't worry honey i enjoyed it...
Total number of books I own: i never bothered counting... ;)
Last book I bought: God's Li'l Devotional Book for Moms and Dad's
Last book I read: Individualization: It's Implications to Students of Special Education
5 Books that mean a lot to me and why:
1. my Holy Bible - i think it needs no explanation:)
2. Purpose Driven Life Book - coz it's so inspiring
3. The Castle by Julie Garwood - it's so romantic i swear :)
4. The Plague by Robin Cook - it made me like Robin Cook a lot
5. Doomsday Conspiracy by Sydney Sheldon- it's so good i read it in one sitting
now it's time to pass it on again and hopefully the other girls would also enjoy it as much as i did... i'm taging mmmqx, elinia, mommy bev, indigotulip, tin tin... please keep this going ladies :)
a pen was put to work again at 04:11 am by justjacq
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you were the source of my bliss
the sole reason i kept moving
you were the flame that guided me
when the heavens offered no light
now i don't know how to smile
i can't seem to move forward
not when you, the person i loved so
is the person i loathe now...
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a pen was put to work again at 06:50 am by justjacq
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_______________________________
your words hurt me so badly
i smiled all along
i didn¡¯t show the hurt
the wound you made
the pain I felt
i cried in silence
i mourned in seclusion
the pain is just so real
the torment is burning me
it¡¯s shredding me into pieces
it¡¯s eating me up inside
the wound is just so deep
i see no healing
i¡¯m drenching in tears
i¡¯m drowning in misery¡¦
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a pen was put to work again at 06:16 am by justjacq
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in the deafening silence of the night
i hear my heart weep
i hear my soul cry
i hear my mind sigh
i feel the encompassing darkness
it's almost tangible
i see no light
i feel no hope
my heart is wounded
my soul is weary
my mind is tired
my body is numb...
i'm more than lost
i'm more than hurt
in the blinding darkness
in the piercing silence
i slowly fade
and the world knows not...
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a pen was put to work again at 11:31 pm by justjacq
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this is for the two most important people in my life.. i miss you much¡¦ and i love you¡¦.
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sometimes in my solitude
i see your face and wonder
how beautiful life is
simply because i have you..
in the stillness of the night
i see your face
and I think of all that you have done for me
every single thing you so freely gave
every loving word you so gently said
every laugh you triggered with your beautiful wit¡¦
you gave without asking
you loved without limit
you trusted and never doubted¡¦
i feel so grateful for your presence
i feel so blessed to have you by my side
i can never express in words
how much i truly love you
coz i love you beyond words
i love you beyond emotions
i love you and that¡¯s it¡¦
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a pen was put to work again at 04:02 am by justjacq
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"Sometimes your nearness takes my breath away; and all the things I want to say can find no voice. Then, in silence, I can only hope my eyes will speak my heart."
--Robert Sexton
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"you were right when you said love is more than just intense feelings and blinding passion... it's a decision... a commitment... a promise... my heart taught me that when i met you..."
--jacq
a pen was put to work again at 03:59 am by justjacq
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